Want a sneak peek behind the scenes of South Asian relationship coaching?

Well, you’re in luck. 

One of my clients, answers questions about her experience with dating and relationships and how coaching transformed her life. 

Can you tell us a little about yourself and the relationship that failed that led to you seeking coaching?

I'm a passionate, driven woman who studied a lot my whole life. I became a doctor as my parents wanted. I found real joy in my work but felt that it kept me from having the experience in dating that I needed to be successful in love. I always believed in the power of love. The relationship that failed was one I invested a lot of time and emotion into  but I felt like the lack of experience became a problem. We had our highs and lows, but ultimately, we grew apart as our priorities shifted.

What led to the breakup, and how did you feel at that time?

The breakup stemmed from a combination of factors—communication issues, differing life goals, and a lack of emotional connection. All of a sudden it was as if I wasn’t enough for my ex. At the time, I felt devastated and lost. It was like the ground had been pulled out from under me, and I didn't know how to move forward.

What made you decide to seek relationship coaching?

I realized that I needed guidance and support to navigate this challenging time. Every new person I was dating was being compared to my ex and nothing felt right. Plus, I didn't want to repeat the same patterns in future relationships and choose the wrong person, so I made the decision to invest in myself and seek the help of a relationship coach.

How did you feel during your coaching sessions, and what were some key insights you gained?

During coaching sessions, I felt a mix of emotions—vulnerability, hope, and determination. At times, I didn’t know where it was going. One key insight I gained was the importance of self-love and setting boundaries that actually resulted in being more open and loving towards others. I learned that I deserved to be treated with respect and kindness, and that realization was empowering. Plus, I had more fun along the way too. 

Can you share some specific challenges you faced during the process of healing and moving forward?

One challenge was letting go of the past and forgiving myself for mistakes made in the relationship. Another was overcoming the fear of being alone and embracing my independence.

What strategies or techniques did you learn in coaching that helped you overcome those challenges?

I learned the true power of mindfulness and self-care and how to implement it in my life in ways that were realistic and sustainable. Practicing gratitude and focusing on the present moment helped me silence the negative self-talk and embrace a more positive outlook on life.

How did your perspective on the breakup and your relationship change throughout the coaching process?

Through coaching, I gained a deeper understanding of myself and my needs in a relationship. It finally felt like it had to happen in order for me to see what more was possible for myself.  I began to see the breakup not as a failure, but as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Were there any breakthrough moments or significant shifts in mindset that occurred during coaching?

Absolutely. One breakthrough moment was realizing that I had the power to create the life and love I desired. I stopped waiting for someone else to make me happy and took responsibility for my own happiness. Now it feels like a light bulb went off and it was just something I knew. But in the moment, it was actually a gradual muscle that I worked to make stronger.

How did you rebuild your confidence and sense of self-worth after the breakup?

It was that gradual process of self-reflection, self-care, and surrounding myself with intentional and effective influences. I focused on my strengths and passions, and as I started to see my own worth, my confidence grew.

Can you share some highlights or milestones of your journey from breakup to breakthrough?

One milestone was the day I decided to let go of the pain and resentment and embrace forgiveness. It was empowering because I finally began to see the possibilities of the future and take responsibility without blaming myself. Another was when I mustered the courage to put myself out there again and start dating with a newfound sense of self-assurance. I was finally relying on myself rather than ping ponging off of the responses and reactions from matches and dates. 

What advice would you give to others who are going through a similar experience?

My advice would be to be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come with a breakup. Through coaching with Coach Varsha, I learned how often I was suppressing feelings and thinking that I always had to suck it up and deal with the bad dating life I had. I thought I needed to some how fit into the dating scene and accept it for what it was. Instead, I would suggest taking it into your own hand and learning how to own the process of finding love. And so,, seek support from friends, family in a curated way or a professional like Coach Varsha who can give you the unbiased and unfiltered support when needed. And remember, this is not the end of your story— it's the beginning of a new chapter filled with endless possibilities. Trust in the process, believe in yourself, and know that you are worthy of love and happiness.